Prioritizing the Ones Who Love You


ANOTHER ONE?? Guys I did it, I posted a blog, and now I am posting a SECOND one. Welcome, how are you doing today? Personally I am feeling blessed and overwhelmed, but as we determined last time, I think that is simply the feeling of being a person. Eric and I are very close to closing on our home, and one step closer to officially starting our lives together. I have been dreaming about this my whole life. Fun story before we get into things, Eric and I met at fifteen-years-old. I thought he was cute, and he thought I was intimidating. A match made in heaven. I was in a relationship at the time and then had 2-3 more relationships before we started dating a year later. I was a serial dater for an almost 17-year-old, and he had never held hands with a girl. I was hurt and distrustful of teenage boys, and he was scared of everything. Yet, less than a month into our little relationship full of uncertainty and excitement, we sat down in a BBQ restaurant and planned out our whole wedding. He has felt like the piece that makes me whole since the very beginning. He is everything. Bethany and Eric of 2018 are finally having their dreams come true, and that makes me so proud of the current us. 

Other than house stuff, I’m getting further into my new job and I’m slowly starting to feel the butterflies of newness disappear into comfort. I am still feeling out if this is truly for me, but as for now, I at least no longer feel like a stranger there. We are five weeks into 2023, 4 months until the wedding, 25 days until closing, 29 days until move-in, 31 days in the new job, and 325 days until Christmas. I always have to keep account of that, of course. Anyway, I am doing fine. Missing my sister who is back in school, and taking in the last few days where I live with my parents. It was a financial decision, but the two cuties who raised me have slowly morphed into my friends/roommates, and it will be weird to permanently live apart. My relationship with them has become a top priority. Since becoming an adult, there have been many times over the last few years where I have sat down and claimed a priority. There are so many of them, which I will share overtime.  However, keeping a healthy relationship with my family, and specifically my parents, became one of them, and it was one of the best decisions of my life.

Prioritizing the Ones Who Love You

When I was younger, I always dreamt of going and doing. I had lived in small towns my entire life (like, truly small, in the mountains of Virginia small). Thus, the idea of staying near home as I grew up sounded stifling. I would also venture to say that growing up, my family was close to perfect, and we were blessed beyond belief. My parents and siblings all loved each other indefinitely. Yet, those around me who never left their small towns, never saw much or experienced much. Thus, I associated the idea of success with the act of leaving. Leaving your town, your family, everything. Otherwise- what a square. Right? Well firstly, that isn’t true and honestly those who fall in love with the place that raised them is such an incredible sentiment and one that I no longer find shame in whatsoever. Secondly, that mindset for me all changed when I, as an almost 16-year-old, moved to mass suburbia outside of the state capitol and left the mountains behind me. All of a sudden, all of the opportunities I had dreamt of, all of the places and access I wanted to have, all of the high-credited courses, places of commerce, train stations, airports, things to do- all of it- was in my backyard. Slowly but surely, I had less and less excuse as to why I should leave my family in the dust, and the idea that abandoning them meant success started to get blurry. It was this shift that helped me understand that my success is not greater by way of abandoning the past, but instead is heightened by letting those who love you be a strong foundation to stand on. 

I realized that intentionally loving those who truly support you is the greatest investment anyone can make. My family is a flowing and free resource of support, advice, comradery, love, understanding, counsel, and so much more. No one is in my corner the way my parents are. They are the people who push me to chase the scholarships, the huge jobs I feel so small next to, the healthy decisions. They are the shoulder to lean on, the friend to call, the people who love me unconditionally. Yes, this is cringey and cliché, but dude if I do not recognize it, I am doing a disservice honestly. My family is bomb, and I feel like I realized that too late in life. No, they are not perfect but that’s madly okay with me because I am as flawed as anyone. Plus, that isn’t the point. No one in any relationship is perfect- but it is our decision whether or not we want to invest in them. I actively choose not to place insane expectations on those I invest in, but instead love them without condition, prioritize quality time, check up on them etc. I would hate it if others had expectations of me that I could never reach. Prioritizing those who love me is a choice, and has been one of the most life giving choices I’ve made. I know for a fact that I would not be where I am career-wise, almost married, and happy had I not actively chosen to prioritize those who support and love me. Life is too short for drama. Life is too short for pride. I choose to actively seek a healthy relationship with my family for the sake of me, my parents, my fiancé, my siblings, as well as my future children, nieces, and nephews. 

I also want to make it clear that this applies to all relationships. Not just family or parents. Friends, family, coworkers, spouses, partners, etc. There is a choice in every relationship- let go, keep at arm’s length, or invest. Sometimes there are family members that we need to let go, or maybe friends we need to keep at arm’s length. In some ways it can be even harder to let go of those who don’t prioritize you, rather than love on those who do. If you have someone who is in your corner, is a strong foundation, loves you- do not choose to let that slip away. And those who are not prioritizing you, don’t be afraid to allow for some space. Instead, investing in healthy relationships and community can save your life, improve your joy, and in many cases, amplify your general success. Prioritizing is hard. Prioritizing is a choice. I choose my fiancé. I choose my best friends. I choose my family. I choose my health. I choose my happiness. I choose my career. I choose financial wellness. It is not easy to choose. Friendships are not maintained without work, scholarships and colleges do not come without work, careers do not come without work, families do not stay together without work. We all have it in us to choose the things that are best for us, do not let those who love you go.

Tips for Today:

  • Reach out to someone who loves you and thank them for that.
  • Set up a coffee date with someone you haven’t reached out to in a while.
  • Evaluate those you may need space from to be the healthiest person you can be.

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