Introduction

What is a blog? If you were to ask me that a few months ago, I would have told you that a blog was a writing format that died years ago. Do people even read blogs? And who writes them? Definitely not some Gen Z human in their young twenties, and definitely not me- that’s for sure. And yet, here we are. Since childhood, I have always been someone with a brain that never stops. I will always have an opinion, a story, a day dream, floating around in my head. Nowadays, as a college student from the 2020’s, I am in a constant thought cloud of philosophy, hypotheticals, dreaming, planning, etc. The thoughts never stop. Thus, I often imagine how insanely incredible it would feel to have such thoughts poured over and spilled out onto paper (or screen) instead of always being in my head or vented to my fiance in the late hours of the night. Thus, I began researching blogs. Although they were something I felt was a dead art, and also a highly intimidating feat for someone as not-vulnerable as I am- writing a blog sounded oddly perfect. It doesn’t even need to be read, in fact it may feel better if people from my life never read these, for the sake of my own embarrassment. But instead, just being able to release my insane need to extrovert about life, relationships, funny stories, social justice and so on- and releasing such to the blank idea of the internet seems freeing.

In my research, Google told me that blogs are very much in. That’s encouraging. It also said that right now was a great time to start one. Right now. Google, however, probably doesn’t know that I am in the middle of buying a house, finishing my degree, planning a wedding, and I just started my second full-time-dream-career job at 21-years-old. So, I am sorry Google, but I don’t have time to start right now. That was of course until I needed another productive form of procrastination from such life events and thus brings me here today. With you. Hi, I am Bethany and if you have read this far then apparently I am blogging now. I study sociology and religion and have a massive passion for working with teenagers. I currently work as a Teen Director for a large non-profit and somehow typing that still does not feel real. I am engaged to the love of my life, Eric, we have been together since we were sixteen, and we are getting married this coming June. I am an extrovert, an Enneagram 8, a middle child, a pastor’s kid (oh, the stories), a chronic advocate, and a comfort-enthusiast. Give me any rom-com, fluffy blanket, warm drink, or candle and I will be the happiest person alive. I love the feeling of comfort.

Adulthood

This brings me to my frustration with adulthood. Are adults ever fully comfortable? Like is there ever not a responsibility to keep track of in your head? Do adults sleep? I am new at the whole thing after all, and yet I am facing all of the adultness head on. As an overthinker, I often… overthink. I find myself often thinking about things so much that I just end with… how are things even possible? From cell phone calls, to planes flying, to “the cloud”, to caterpillars turning into butterflies, to stocks and investments- I can overthink myself into being confused about anything. So now as an adult, faced with stresses and responsibilities that never go away, I wonder how adults function. House payments, work life balance, having children?? Impossible. Yes, being able to work, own property, travel, and marry the love of your life are all incredible, euphoric experiences. However, each experience comes with its own amount of stress or responsibility. And those stresses don’t go away. It’s like we’re walking on a path our entire life, guided by the hand, and we follow this path and this guide with very little thought. Then one day the path becomes the entire world; full of everything and anything and can take you anywhere- and once you reach this insane globe of newness and opportunity, the guide then drops your hand and walks away. No longer tied by college classes, school schedules, a parent, or an hourly job. The world is here and it is beautiful and it is everything, but in order to enjoy it, you have to follow its rules and know how to do so on your own. It is something that I am so grateful for and yet so unaccustomed to. 

Thus, on the other hand, being a ‘grown’ human also feels like such an incredible privilege. It feels like such an accomplishment to have made it this far and I am just getting started. I think something that I am learning overall from adulthood is the fact that it is impossible, thus when we accomplish even the simplest tasks of paying a bill or getting a promotion, we are winning. Not only are we winning but we are winning solely based on our own merit. No longer am I the product of someone else, but I stand alone. I accomplish the impossible on my own. Second full time job in my dream career at 21? Impossible. Getting married? Impossible. Buying a house? Impossible. Getting dressed? Insurance? Classes? Paying loans? Making food? Breathing? Impossible. And yet you guys, we are doing it. I’m doing it!! I wake up on time, I drive myself to a job I earned, I make a difference in the community, I go home to the relationships I have worked hard to keep between family, friends, and fiancé. You bought that plane ticket, you raised that baby, you moved into that apartment, you got that scholarship, you made that promotion, you renovated that room, you maintained that relationship- you did the impossible, and you did it on your own merit. Although impossible, people forget that even the smallest accomplishment of getting ready in the morning is such a win. Being an adult and surviving the impossible makes us all invincible. When I pulled into my first day of work, my first thought was “wow, what a queen, what a beast, what a goddess, I made it to my first day of a dream job.” I felt like a superhero. Which, at this point I believe that all adults should feel that way, because we are all superheroes. Lost, confused, and tired superheroes who have made the impossible possible. I can’t wait to romanticize adulthood on some days and appreciate its immense difficulty on others. I will take you all along with me, as I continue my career, buy a house, get married, renovate, decorate, and figure out all that life has to offer. I hope you all will continue to read as I journey through my life with the impossible.